To have good manners means to think of others, no--to feel for
others. One must be group-conscious, have the gift of putting
oneself in the other man's shoes. Manners prohibit the wound-
ing of anyone. To be mannerly is to have genuine good taste.
Manners cannot be taught, for they belong to the unconscious.

Etiquette, on the other hand, can be taught, for it belongs to
the conscious. It is the veneer of manners. Etiquette allows one to
talk during a concert; etiquette permits gossip and scandal.
Etiquette requires us to dress for dinner, to rise when a lady
approaches our table, to say "Excuse me" when we leave the
table. This is all conscious, outer, meaningless behavior.

Bad manners always spring from a disordered psyche. Slan-
der and scandal and gossip and backbiting are all subjective
faults; they show hatred of self. They prove that the scandal-
monger is unhappy. If we can take children into a world where
they will be happy, we shall automatically rid them of all desire
to hate. In other words, these children will have good manners
in the deepest sense; that is, they will show forth loving-kind-
ness.

If children eat peas with knives, these same children will not
necessarily offend by talking through a Beethoven symphony.
If they pass Mrs. Brown without doffing their caps, these same
children will not necessarily pass on the report that Mrs. Brown
drinks brandy.

Once when I was lecturing, an old man got up and com-
plained about the manners of children today. "Why," he said
with warmth, "last Saturday I was walking in the park, and
two small children came by. 'Hello, man,' said one of them."

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