She Stoops to Conquer

By Oliver Goldsmith; C. Moore Smith | Go to book overview
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Dramatis Personæ.
Sir Charles Marlow. . . MR. GARDNER.
Young Marlow (his son). . MR. LEWES.
Hardcastle. . . . . . . MR. SHUTER.
Hastings. . . . . . . . . MR. DUBELLAMY.
Tony Lumpkin. . . . . . MR. QUICK.
Diggory. . . . . . . . MR. SAUNDERS.
Mrs. Hardcastle. . . . . MRS. GREEN.
Miss Hardcastle. . . . . MRS. BULKLEY.
Miss Neville. . . . . . MRS. KNIVETON.
Maid. . . . . . . . . MISS WILLEMS.
Landlord, Servants, &c., &c.


By David Garrick, Esq.

Enter MR. WOODWARD, dressed in black, and holding a handkerchief to his eyes.

Excuse me, Sirs, I pray--I can't yet speak--
I'm crying now--and have been all the week.
"'Tis not alone this mourning suit," good masters:
"I've that within" for which there are no plasters!
Pray, would you know the reason why I'm crying?
The Comic Muse, long sick, is now a-dying!
And if she goes, my tears will never stop;
For, as a player, I can't squeeze out one drop:
I am undone, that's all--shall lose my bread--
I'd rather--but that's nothing--lose my head.
When the sweet maid is laid upon the bier,
Shuter and I shall be chief mourners here.
To her a mawkish drab of spurious breed,
Who deals in Sentimentals, will succeed!
Poor Ned and I are dead to all intents;
We can as soon speak Greek as Sentiments!
Both nervous grown, to keep our spirits up,


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She Stoops to Conquer


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