British Dramatists from Dryden to Sheridan

By George Henry Nettleton; Arthur Eillicot Case | Go to book overview
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able. I was forced to wear a beastly widow's band1 a twelve-month for't.

AMAN. Women, I find, have different incli­ 750

BER. Women, I find, keep different company. When your husband ran away from you, if you had fallen into some of my acquaintance, 'twould

have saved you many a tear. But you go 755
and live with a grandmother, a bishop, and an old nurse, which was enough to make any woman break her heart for her husband. Pray, Amanda, if ever you are a widow again, keep yourself so, as I do.

AMAN. Why, do you then resolve You'll 760
never marry?

BER. Oh, no; I resolve I will

AMAN. How so?

BER. That I never may.

AMAN. You banter me. 765

BER. Indeed I don't. But I consider I'm a woman, and form my resolutions accordingly.

AMAN. Well, my opinion is, form what resolution you will, matrimony will be the end on't.

BER. Faith it won't. 770

AMAN. How do you know?

BER. I'm sure on't.

AMAN. Why, do you think 'tis impossible for you to fall in love?

BER. No. 775

AMAN. Nay, but to grow so passionately fond, that nothing but the man you love can give you rest?

BER. Well, what then?

AMAN. Why, then you'll marry him. 780

BER. How do you know that?

AMAN. Why, what can you do else?

BER. Nothing -- but sit and cry.

AMAN. Psha!

BER. Ah, poor Amanda, you have led a 785
country file: but if you'll consult the widows of this, town, they'll tell you you should never take a lease of a house you can hire for a quarter's warning.




[ LORD FOPPINGTON'S lodgings.]

Enter LORD FOPPINGTONand Servant.

L. FOP. Hey, fellow, let the coach come to the door.

SERV. Will your lordship venture so soon to expose yourself to the weather?

L. FOP. Sir, I will venture as soon as I can to 5
expose myself to the ladies: though give me my cloak, however, for in that side-box, what between the air that comes in at the door on one side, and the intolerable warmth of the masks2 on t'other, a man
gets so many heats and colds, 'twould destroy 10
the canstitution of a harse.

SERV. (putting on kis cloak). I wish your lordship would please to keep house a little longer; I'm afraid your honor does not well consider your wound.

L. FOP. My wound?--I would not be in 15
eclipse another day, though I had as many wounds in my guts as I have had in my heart.


Y. FAS. Brother, your servant: how do you find yourself today?

L. FOP. So well, that I have ardered my 20
coach to the door: so there's no great danger of death this baut, Tam.

Y. FAS. I'm very glad of it.

L. FOP. (aside). That I believe's a lie.-----

Prithee, Tam, tell me one thing: did nat your 25
heart cut a caper up to your mauth, when you heard I was run through the bady?

Y. FAS. Why do you think it should?

L. FOP. Because I remember mine did so, when

I heard my father was shat through the head. 30

Y. FAS. It then did very ill.

L. FOP. Prithee, why so?

Y. FAS. Because he used you very well.

L. FOP. Well? ----- haw strike me dumb, he

starved me. He has let me want a thausand 35
women for want of a thausand paund.

Y. FAS. Then he hindered you from making a great many ill bargains, for I think no woman is worth money, that will take money.

L. FOP. If I were a younger brother, I should 40
think so too.

Y. FAS. Why, is it possible you can value a woman that's to be bought?

L. FOP. Prithee, why not as well as a pad-nag?3

Y. FAS. Because a woman has a heart to dis­ 45 pose of; a horse has none.

L. FOP. Look you, Tam, of all things that belang to a woman, I have an aversion to her heart; far when once a woman has given you her heart -----

you can never get rid of the rest of her bady. 50

Y. FAS. This is strange doctrine. But pray, in your amours how is it with your own heart?

L. FOP. Why, my heart in my amours is like my heart aut of my amours: à la glace.4 My bady,

Tam, is a watch, and my heart is the pendulum 55
to it; whilst the finger runs raund to every hour in the circle, that still beats the same time.

25]P not.
Lace head-band.
Masked women.
An easy-going saddle horse.
Like ice.


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British Dramatists from Dryden to Sheridan
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