British Dramatists from Dryden to Sheridan

By George Henry Nettleton; Arthur Eillicot Case | Go to book overview
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eyes! Then, Jack, her lips! -- O Jack, lips smiling at their own discretion; and if not smiling, more

sweetly pouting; more lovely in sullenness! 80

ABS. [aside]. That's she, indeed. -- Well done, old gentleman!

SIR ANTH. Then, Jack, her neck! -- O Jack! Jack!

ABS. And which is to be mine, sir, the niece or the

aunt? 85

SIR ANTH. Why, you unfeeling, insensible puppy, I despise you! When I was of your age, such a description would have made me fly like a rocket! The aunt, indeed! -- Odds life! when I ran away

with your mother, I would not have touched 90
anything old or ugly to gain an empire.

ABS. Not to please your father; sir?

SIR ANTH. To please my father! ----- Z-----ds! not to please ----- O, my father! -- Oddso! -- yes

-- yes! if my father, indeed, had desired -- 95
that's quite another matter. -- Though he wa'n't the indulgent father that I am, Jack.

ABS. I dare say not, sir.

SIR ANTH. But, Jack, you are not sorry to find

your mistress is so beautiful? 100

ABS. Sir, I repeat it; if I please you in this affair, 'tis all I desire. Not that I think a woman the worse for being handsome; but, sir, if you please to recollect, you before hinted something about a hump

or two, one eye, and a few more graces of that 105
kind. -- Now, without being very nice, I own I should rather choose a wife of mine to have the usual number of limbs, and a limited quantity of back: and though one eye may be very agreeable, yet
as the prejudice has always run in favor of two, 110
I would not wish to affect a singularity in that article.

SIR ANTH. What a phlegmatic sot it is! Why, sirrah, you're an anchorite! -- a vile, insensible stock. -- You a soldier! -- you're a walking block,

fit only to dust the company's regimentals on! 115
-- Odds life! I've a great mind to marry the girl myself!

ABS. I am entirely at your disposal, sir; if you should think of addressing Miss Languish yourself,

I suppose you would have me marry the aunt; 120
or if you should change your mind, and take the old lady -- 'tis the same to me -- I'll marry the niece.

SIR ANTH. Upon my word, Jack, thou'rt either a very great hypocrite, or ----- but come, I know your

indifference on such a subject must be all a lie 125
-- I'm sure it must -- come, now -- damn your demure face! -- come, confess, Jack -- you have been lying -- ha'n't you? ((You have been lying, hey? I'll never forgive you, if you ha'n't: -- so
now, own, my dear Jack,)) you have been play­ 130
ing the hypocrite, hey? -- I'll never forgive you if you ha'n't been lying and playing the hypocrite.

ABS. I'm sorry, sir, that the respect and duty which I bear to you should be so mistaken.

SIR ANTH. Hang your respect and duty! 135
But come along with me, I'll write a note to Mrs. Malaprop, and you shall visit the lady directly.

(( ABS. Where does she lodge, sir?

((SIR ANTH. What a dull question! -- Only on

the Grove1 here. 140

(( ABS. O! then I can call on her in my way to the coffee-house.

((SIR ANTH. In your way to the coffee-house! You'll set your heart down in your way to the coffee-

house, hey? Ah! you leaden-nerved, wooden- 145
hearted dolt! But come along, you shall see her directly;)) her eyes shall be the Promethean torch to you -- come along. I'll never forgive you if you don't come back stark mad with capture and im
patience. -- If you don't, egad, I'll marry the 150
girl myself! Exeunt.


JULIA'S dressing-room.


FAULK. They told me Julia would return directly; I wonder she is not yet come! -- How mean does this captious, unsatisfied temper of mine appear to my cooler judgment! Yet I know not that I indulge

it in any other point: -- but on this one subject, 5
and to this one subject, whom I think I love beyond my life, I am ever ungenerously fretful, and madly capricious! -- I am conscious of it -- yet I cannot correct myself! What tender, honest joy sparkled
in her eyes when we met! -- How delicate was 10
the warmth of her expressions! -- I was ashamed to appear less happy -- though I had come resolved to wear a face of coolness and upbraiding. Sir Anthony's presence prevented my proposed expostu
lations: -- yet I must be satisfied that she has 15
not been so very happy in my absence. -- She is coming! -- Yes! -- I know the nimbleness of her tread when she thinks her impatient Faulkland counts the moments of her stay.

Enter JULIA.

JUL. I had not hoped to see you again so soon. 20

FAULK. Could I, Julia, be contented with my first welcome -- restrained as we were by the presence of a third person?

101 s.d.] O1 misprints Sir Anth. for Abs.
105] O1 corrects in Errata the misprint regiment for regimentals in its main text.
119] O1 corrects in Errata the misprint Anguish for Languish in its main text.
121] O1 misprints you're for your.
126] O1 d--n.
SCENE II. 2] O1 omits I before wonder.
6] O1 object for subject.
The fashionable 'Orange Grove,' named after the Prince of Orange.


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British Dramatists from Dryden to Sheridan
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