6
The Supporting Mdtrix
DEAR ABBY: My stepdaughter is planning to be married next spring.
Her Cianc6 has two children from a previous marriage. Will they become
my grandchildren, my step-grandchildren, the stepchildren of my step-
daughter, or simply the children of the man who married my stepdaugh-
ter ?
My wife is teasing me about becoming an instant grandfather. I'm not
so sure this marriage makes me one officially I will, of course, treat them
as my grandchildren, but I am curious nonetheless. Please advise.
WONDERING IN INDIANAPOLIS
DEAR WONDERING: If you are married to 'Grandma,' that makes you
'Grandpa.' Stop splitting 'heirs' and accept the honor graciously, or you
may wind up being called a name that's far less complimentary than
'Grandpa.'
(Van Buren 2000)
It is a caring act to choose to adopt or foster a child as well as to mother
stepchildren. With the current fragility of the nuclear family, not to
mention the erosion of extended family life, people who are willing to
parent non-biological children are making an essential and meaningful
contribution to our society and will soon begin to outnumber the ranks of
'traditional' parents. Unfortunately, the social and ritual supports available
to women giving birth do not always extend to mothers generously
offering their nurturing to a foster, step or adoptive child. Parents in
families created through adoption, fostering, extended kin care or in
stepfamilies need networks and resources to support their efforts on behalf
of the children they claim, especially since these families are still consid-
ered alternative even though they are revolutionizing the landscape of

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