CHAPTER XII DIVORCE 1. HUMANE DIVORCE AS A PROPOSED SOLUTION Personalities Change after Marriage. -- Let us assume that the machinery of mate-finding is already perfected; that each person who desires marriage can easily find a person of opposite sex to whom his personality can make an adjustment as satisfactory as the happier 50 per cent of couples now achieve. Are the emotional problems of marriage thereby solved? Can we now expect the great majority of couples to live happily "ever after"? To assume that scientific pairing would thus eliminate the major difficulties is to ignore the ceaseless tendency of personalities to change. Psychologists have said so much about the early childhood foundations of personality and the difficulties of changing habits after maturity, that we have overlooked the important types of changes which do occur in adult life. Marriage Is Essentially a Triali. -- Easier divorce really implies the principle of trial marriage. This phrase carries a shocking sound to conservative ears. However, it is one thing to advocate this princi- ple; another to point out that it already exists. One out of every six marriages in the United States is a trial marriage ending in such failure that its termination is officially pronounced by a judge. We cannot say how many more fail in reality without being juridically liquidated. Even with seemingly well-adjusted couples who marry with due forethought there are many failures. Whether the law or the church declares it indissoluble or not, marriage is essentially a trial. The science of human relations has not yet arrived at the point where the trial and error process can be fully dispensed with through correct judgment at the outset. There are many who think that the solution of the marriage prob- lem lies in a frank recognition of the necessity of this trial and error more than it does in efforts to sift the unwise from the wise marriages in advance. They claim that, barring a negligible minority of obvi- ously misguided matings, the only test of the adaptability of a couple -356- |