Cultures are rich with tales of parents who have abandoned chil-
dren. Whenever such stories have been told, whether they be mythology,
folktales, or fairy tales read to children, the theme emerges of the parent
who withdraws, due to some mysterious event, adventure seeking, divine
intervention, death, or leaving the child to be raised by others. This absence
then sets the stage for the child to overcome hardship and find success. Ro-
mulus and Remus, the mythical founders of Rome who are nurtured by
wolves, survive without their parents. Zeus is raised away from both par-
ents on the isle of Crete (hidden from his child-eating father, Cronus) before
becoming king of the gods. Cinderella, living with her stepmother while her
father either has died or is away at sea (depending upon the version of the
story), triumphs by marrying a prince (not a politically correct victory). Sta-
golee sets off on his own at the age of five to make his mark in the world,
parental supervision being unneeded. The message is that children can over-
come a life without a parent, sometimes being cared for by others, some-
times fending for themselves. A child hearing such a story could be reas-
sured that if he or she were left alone, all was not lost.

Almost always left unexplained is the state of the absent parents. Their
reactions to and feelings about being away from their children are not de-
scribed.

Fast forward to the end of the twentieth century, and we see a slightly
different cultural message. Now children raised away from a father or
mother not only are failing to adapt, but are suffering. Much is blamed on

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