“I f only we had known that before!”
say remarried couples who seek out professional help because their stepfamilies
are in trouble. Don't misunderstand. There is no single “right”
way for a stepfamily to shape itself. To some degree, each stepfamily
must find its own solutions and write its own rules. But as you discovered
in the last chapter, some paths stepfamilies commonly take generally
lead to problems. Other paths, however, generally lead to success
and satisfaction, and these are the focus of this chapter. They are organized
into eight broad strategies with practical suggestions to help
you implement them. These eight strategies are guidelines, not hard-and-fast
rules that must be followed to the letter.

If you are just starting out in a remarried family, you can begin on
the right foot. Are you already in a stepfamily and having a difficult
time? Then begin some serious work right now, using these strategies
as guidelines. Additional sources of help and support are discussed at
the end of the chapter. In case you are wondering, this chapter is as
much for cohabiting families as it is for remarried families.

Make open communication a top priority, both before marriage and
after. You and your partner (and sometimes your children) will find it
helpful to discuss the following areas.

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