To summarize, it is not surprising that the majority of not-
mothers I spoke with are challenged by moments or periods of
internal questioning related to their childless state, no matter how
committed they were to that state. Participants experienced
rumblings and engaged in speculations about what might have
been if they had had children. Rumblings were not considered
problematic by most, but rather just temporary musings that
happen from time to time depending on circumstances. . . .
Weak moments were most often associated with a mild emotional
tone, like wistfulness, or a feeling of generalized anxiety about the
future. Only occasionally were such rumblings described as
painful. ( Carolyn Morell, 1994, pp. 108-109)

Morell's childfree women experienced rumblings at the death or
illness of a family member, during transition times, times when work
was stale, times when they were going through a period of boredom or
loneliness. Sometimes rumblings happened at family gatherings
when children were present. To see how men compared with women
on this issue, I asked the men if they had any regrets or felt a sense of
loss for having not had kids. This chapter contains everything they
said in response to that question. The majority, in contrast to women,
denied that they had any regrets or sense of loss.

Some men occasionally wondered what it would have been like if
they'd had a child. How would life today be different? Jerry, the
single, Jewish newspaper artist, wondered what it would have been

-105-