The Man's Page: Big Boys'toys; When an Archaeologist Digs Up Peculiar Pottery Bearing Greek Inscriptions, He Is Helping to Chronicle the Wonders of a Vanished Empire. Today, You Can Invest in the Finest Creations of the United States and Help Preserve the Wonders of American Civilisation for Posterity

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1Deluxe Spire Feel-Good Fan with Negative-Ion Feature:

If neighbours aim their telescopes through your window they may fast come to the conclusion that you are storing a cruise missile in your bedroom.

But their gasps of shock will soon turn to exclamations of envy when they realise you are the owner of the latest fan technology.

More than 100 tiny blades create a sweeping breeze which will tranquilly rush air through your home. You may find yourself gazing towards the source of the air currents to convince yourself that an ostrich is not beating its wings in delight at your presence.

Unlike an ostrich, this invention comes with a remote control with which you can choose a variety of speeds. $99.95

2Roomba Floor Vac Robot: The chief charm of dogs, cats and other fur-bearing species is that they move at random across floorspace. While this does have a certain entertainment value, their refusal to evolve into creatures capable of wearing either shoes or clothes without appearing ridiculous, ensures they act as transportation devices for fleas, dirt molecules and associated pestilence.

This ``dancing robot'' brings the delight of the mobile pet into your home. But instead of adding to domestic chaos, it doubles as a vacuum cleaner.

Capable of cleaning up spilled cereal and designed to move across surfaces ranging from a hardwood floor to a short-pile carpet, this invention does not ask to have its underside tickled and is not programmed to eat socks. $199.953Ultrasonic Jewellery Cleaner: When one is old enough to have a credit card but too young to have stopped listening to gangsta rap, giant gold medallions may begin swinging around one's neck and fingers canquickly begin to ache under the weight of ruby-studded rings.

Such personal accruements must continue to sparkle, otherwise one's street credibility will slump to the prestige-levels of a 1984 Ford Escort with a ``I've been to Redcar'' window sticker.

This jewellery cleaner uses water and a dash of ammonia to bring back the lustre to your valuables. …