Shouting for Success; How Family Rows Can Help Children Learn to Be High-Achievers

Article excerpt

Byline: BEEZY MARSH

CHILDREN who see their parents having rows - and even join in - are more likely to grow up to be high achievers, psychologists say.

Being exposed to everyday conflict teaches them how to work out solutions and means they are better equipped to succeed in the workplace.

But parents who stifle their anger to avoid arguing in front of the children could be doing more harm than good.

Their youngsters could end up as shrinking violets, unable to deal with stress and office power struggles, according to the research.

The findings, by psychologists at Nene College of Higher Education in Northampton, contradict traditional views that family arguments can cause children emotional problems in later life.

The researchers, led by senior psychology lecturer Dr Tony Cassidy, studied 169 men and women aged from 20 to 28 from the Northampton area.

They were questioned about their family backgrounds, with particular attention to the number and seriousness of disagreements they witnessed as children.

Those who had regular rows with a moderate level of verbal conflict were found to have a greater desire to succeed in life.

Dr Cassidy concluded that they had learned important negotiation skills and were better able to cope with conflict and finding ways of resolving difficult situations.

Their perceptions of the family being a strong unit were also greater as a result.

Children who were not used to arguments grew up to be easily thrown by conflict and less likely to push themselves into positions of power. …