Lindsay Cochrane: Chatroom; AWEEK IN THE LIFE OF A TEENAGER 'Perhaps I Had an Admirer, a Blind Man'

Article excerpt

Byline: Lindsay Cochrane

Monday...

APPARENTLY, I have a very carrying voice. This morning, boarded plane to Alicante at 8am. First thing I did was look at the inflight menu.

'THREE QUID FOR A SANDWICH?' I squealed. My brother by my side went to cover my mouth as Mum hissed a highly inconspicuous 'SHHHHH!' from the row behind.

It's ridiculous, though.You'd be better off smuggling your own sandwiches on board in your hand luggage.

Am now wedged between my two delightful brothers in a big red and white vessel above France somewhere. When they get bored, they start poking me in the sides, yet refuse to play 'stop the bus' with me. Outrageous.

We're flying 'no frills' this year. It's really basic. Am surprised we got sick bags. Dad and I were half expecting to have to vomit in our fellow passengers' pockets, should the occasion arise.

Hmm ... maybe that's why the sandwiches are so expensive.

Tuesday...

AH, lovely sunshine. Not a cloud in the sky. And I mean not a single cloud. Not Scottish 'not a cloud in the sky', when you need only turn your head and there are big grey clouds heading your way.The sky is completely blue. Apart from the sun.Which is yellow. Clearly.

Jealous?

Anyway.We're staying in grandpa's Spanish house in a sleepy little estate full of Germans and Norwegians. Not exactly what you'd expect in Spain, but interesting nonetheless. Best bit of this place, however, is the communal pool along the road.

This morning, headed to said pool to cool down after exhausting sunbathing session (it takes about 10 minutes until you're drowning in a pool of your own sweat, it's that hot), when we were greeted by the familiar sight of Mrs Sloshabout.

This is a big Spanish lady who lives at the other side of the pool. She earned her name last year.We noticed that whenever she's showering after swimming, she'll haul out her swimming costume and let the water run down it.

She then sticks her hand down her swimming costume (it's a rather fetching turquoise number this year) and, well, sloshes about a bit. …