Pick Up the Trash, Then Worry about House Seat

Article excerpt

Byline: Tom Knott, THE WASHINGTON TIMES

The city that keeps re-electing Marion Barry, maintains a broken-down public-school system and spends gobs of taxpayer money on one ill-fated construction project after another is clamoring to have a seat in the House of Representatives.

This is a city that considers gentrification to be a bad word, eventually wants to place a camera in the home of every resident and drafts parking signs that require a Ph.D. in Latin to decipher.

This also is a city that is always enacting new laws to save lives. It has so many laws, rules and regulations that no one ever should die in this city. The D.C. Council is bound to pass a measure that bans dying one of these days. The grieving family members of the deceased will be assessed a fine for the temerity of the person who passed away.

Does a city this inept, this dense and this comically absurd really need voting representation in Congress? It would be nice if the city merely was able to get the small details right.

I do not know whether Delegate Eleanor Holmes Norton has any sway with the Department of Public Works, but it would be greatly appreciated if the sanitation engineers were able to remove the trash from my premises on a weekly basis.

Now I know Mrs. Norton has more important things on her agenda than the work habits of the city's sanitation engineers, but silly me, I am not as sophisticated and enlightened as Mrs. Norton.

The Democrat wants her vote in Congress, and I want my trash to be picked up on a weekly basis, so we are going to have to agree to disagree on what is most important to the city.

I also am philosophically opposed to being fined if the grass in the public space in front of my place is a millimeter higher than the law allows. Yes, there is a law in place that deals with this vexing issue. …