Cinematic Anagrams

Article excerpt

Mike Morton sent numerous anagrams for "Star Wards, Episode I: The Phantom Menace." [Copyright (c)1999 by the author, Mike Morton . All rights reserved. You may reproduce this, in whole or in part, in any form provided you retain this paragraph unchanged.] Here are ten of Mike's Cinematic Anagrams, along with a bonus anagram set that is still funny after all these years.

Top Ten CINEMATIC Anagrams for "Star Wars, Episode I: The Phantom Menace":

10. Sweetish drama: poet, thespian, romance.

9. And WHOSE metaphor isn't a masterpiece?

8. Aesthete swept in epic drama: Rashomon

7. Swedish cinema, anathema to "proper" set.

6. Cinema as metaphor: Who isn't desperate?

5. Eastwood: "I threaten perp, smash cinema"

4. DeNiro: "Mean Streets" was macho epitaph

3. Western cinema: The drama! Pathos! Poise!

2. The essence: Adapt a timeworn aphorism.

And the number one CINEMATIC anagram:

1. Rashomon epic: A witness met rape, death.

Top Ten CRITIC'S POSITIVE Anagrams:

10. Don't hiss ... a metaphor, a new masterpiece.

9. Dominant masterpiece: We share pathos

8. Mandate praise: Shown hot masterpiece.

7. Oh, a new masterpiece! Thespian stardom!

6. Showman is adept: Another masterpiece.

5. Now praise that handsome masterpiece.

4. Portents show: I made a masterpiece, Han!

3. Thespian was hot: A modern masterpiece.

2. Repeat smash with adept Oscar nominee

And the number one CRITIC'S POSITIVE anagram:

1. Ripe drama! Sweet pathos! Honest cinema!

Top Ten CRITIC'S NEGATIVE Anagrams:

10. Somewhat poetic sneer: "Drama? Thespian?"

9. What repeat Oscar nominee? Tepid smash.

8. He means: adapt cheap, timeworn stories.

7. Showpiece drama: Same rotten thespian.

6. Metaphor doesn't wash in a masterpiece.

5. Drama somewhat "epic"? Thespian to sneer.

4. Masterpiece? Instead, shown a metaphor

3. Mean, cheap, he adapts timeworn stories.

2. A theme. A tempo. Not a "Cries and Whispers".

And the number one CRITIC'S NEGATIVE anagram:

1. Emphasis: A masterpiece? Rotten, and how!

Top Ten SCIENCE FICTION Anagrams:

10. Martian: "We'd respect, hate homo sapiens"

9. Happenstance is remote asteroid--wham!

8. Somewhat ardent hope: Martian species?

7. Earthmen swear to dominate spaceship.

6. Martian decree: "Homo sapiens? What pets!"

5. Escape asteroid with smart phenomena.

4. Earthmen eradicate snappish twosome.

3. Homo sapiens met sapient hardware, etc.

2. Martian species, somewhat death-prone.

And the number one SCIENCE FICTION anagram:

1. Sentient space-hemorrhoid ate a swamp.

Top Ten STAR WARS Anagrams:

10. Einstein's memo: We approach Death Star

9. Nine episodes? What, me, a Mr. Catastrophe?

8. Empire Death Star weapon: Macintosh SE?

7. Worse epic: Death Star on amphetamines

6. Someone panics: "What Empire Death Star?"

5. Star wars, Episode One: Cheap MIT anthem.

4. Misshapen mice now operate Death Star

3. Media see hope: inane http://starwars.com

2. A new epic: Homer Simpson ate Death Star

And the number one STAR WARS anagram:

1. Death Star: Weapon? Metaphoric nemesis?

Top Ten WEIRD Anagrams:

10. Sweat, perspiration: a home-made stench

9. A chemist: "We eat Pert shampoo-and-rinse"

8. Demonstrate each passionate whimper. …