Women as Winners: Transactional Analysis for Personal Growth

Women as Winners: Transactional Analysis for Personal Growth

Women as Winners: Transactional Analysis for Personal Growth

Women as Winners: Transactional Analysis for Personal Growth

Excerpt

I am delighted with Women As Winners. It is a happy, useful book for women and men who want women to be all they can be.

Women do not have to be inferior or feel inferior. They do not have to sit around in groups playing "Ain't It Awful" about men or society or parents. As Jongeward and Scott state, each woman can know her past in order to decide whether she wants to go on along the same paths or to make changes now.

This book is a valuable tool for women who are about to decide to be productive, to be important, to use their brains, and to learn new and interesting skills. I believe it is equally valuable for the women I teach and treat. They are therapists who are already successful professionals, but still many of them have trouble allowing themselves to be winners.

Many female therapists learned in early childhood that they should have been male, because that was what Father or Mother really wanted. So they decided to compete, to use their brains, to be "tomboys"; they worked hard to prove they were as good as boys. Sometimes, as is explained in this book, they then believed that there was no way they could ever be successful girls (and later, women)—their hair was too curly or not curly enough, they were too big or too ugly. And so they continued to work hard, to get good grades and good jobs, but they still had troubles. If they married, they felt guilty, because "real women" did not "neglect their homes." They worked harder on the job and at home. I am amazed, for example, at the number of female psychiatrists who continue to do their own housework because "that is what women are supposed to do." They apologize to their husbands for working. They apologize to their children, and any time one of the children has a problem, they feel extra guilty. "If I'd been home as I should have been...." At our workshops, they tell me what a treat it is to have four whole weeks without having to cook. One woman who said that earns $40,000 a year. Her husband, whose income is approximately the same, has never cooked a meal for her. And neither of them had considered hiring a good cook.

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