Gay Men Choosing Parenthood

Gay Men Choosing Parenthood

Gay Men Choosing Parenthood

Gay Men Choosing Parenthood

Synopsis

Gay parenting is a topic on which almost everyone has an opinion but almost nobody has any facts. Here at last is a book based on a thorough review of the literature, as well as interviews with a pioneering group of men who in the 1980s chose to become fathers outside the boundaries of a heterosexual union -- through foster care, adoption, and other kinship relationships.

This book reveals how very natural and possible gay parenthood can be. What factors influence this decision? How do the experiences of gay dads compare to those of heterosexual men? How effectively do professional services such as support groups serve gay fathers and prospective gay fathers? What elements of the social climate are helpful -- and hurtful? Gay Men Choosing Parenthood challenges a great deal of misinformation, showing how gay fathers from different backgrounds adapted, perceived, and constructed their options and their families.

Excerpt

I have always loved children, and there has always been a part of me that wanted to be a dad. As a gay man, I thought it was impossible—who was gonna let me be someone's parent? And it wasn't like I could just go out and get pregnant myself and have a baby. I guess I had internalized a lot of the homophobia that I had been fed somewhere along the way: I believed that gay people could not be good parents, just because they were gay. It made me sad. I was always close to my sister's kids, but it wasn't enough to be the really devoted uncle; I wanted to be something more for a child. One day I thought, Why not? Why can't I be a dad?' I could be a great dad for some child. I had a lot of the qualities that make for a great parent. And so I set out to become someone's dad. Five years ago I adopted Peter, and I have never been the same since.

For the last two decades a quiet revolution has been blooming in the gay male community. More and more gay men from all walks of life are becoming parents. Gay men have had to be creative and overcome many obstacles to become parents. Aside from those who had children in previous, heterosexual, unions, gay men who chose parenthood after coming out may have contracted with a surrogate mother to bear their children. Some may have become donor dads, donating their sperm to lesbian friends and then entering into complex coparenting agreements with them. Others managed . . .

Search by... Author
Show... All Results Primary Sources Peer-reviewed

Oops!

An unknown error has occurred. Please click the button below to reload the page. If the problem persists, please try again in a little while.