I Hear You: Repair Communication Breakdowns, Negotiate Successfully, and Build Consensus -- in Three Simple Steps

I Hear You: Repair Communication Breakdowns, Negotiate Successfully, and Build Consensus -- in Three Simple Steps

I Hear You: Repair Communication Breakdowns, Negotiate Successfully, and Build Consensus -- in Three Simple Steps

I Hear You: Repair Communication Breakdowns, Negotiate Successfully, and Build Consensus -- in Three Simple Steps

Synopsis

Birth, death, and conflict- three things you truly can't avoid. Whether it's big or small, conflict eats into productivity and makes people feel stuck. Yet solutions exist for even the toughest situations with the most intractable people. The answer

lies in better communication- not just using different words, but rather learning to think differently.

I Hear You supplies proven techniques for stepping outside one's point of view and seeing things from other perspectives. Sample dialogues show how this shift in thinking leads to better conversations and greatly improved outcomes. Readers learn how to:

• Tell the other person's story- the cornerstone of real engagement

• Look from the outside in and see themselves as others do

• Recognize the role systemic factors play- and transform a conflict into a shared challenge

• Overcome the defense mechanisms that derail dialogue

For anyone trying to negotiate a difficult situation with a boss, colleague, employee, or client, I Hear You changes opposition into understanding and mere talk into real trust.

Excerpt

In the three years I spent acquiring my degree from Harvard Law School, I learned that I actually didn’t want to be a lawyer. Instead of being a gladiator on behalf of my clients, I wanted to help people listen to the other side, communicate more effectively, and resolve their conflicts amicably. If I were successful, they would learn and grow from their difficult situations, avoiding conflict in the future.

Shortly after my graduation, I got the chance of a lifetime, winning a fellowship to intern at a conflict resolution center sponsored by the Supreme Court of Costa Rica. I had been in Costa Rica for less than a week, living in the capital of San José. It was Sunday night when I got a phone call from Gabriela, the training director. A presenter who was scheduled to accompany her on a trip to the south suddenly had to cancel for personal reasons. The team, she explained, was now one presenter short—could I go in his place?

A combination of excitement and terror filled me. I was going to have a chance to teach people about the power of conflict resolution. But was I really ready to do that, in a foreign country and speaking a foreign language? What if I flopped?

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