Adult Children of Divorce: Confused Love Seekers

Adult Children of Divorce: Confused Love Seekers

Adult Children of Divorce: Confused Love Seekers

Adult Children of Divorce: Confused Love Seekers

Synopsis

Romantic love is often an elusive, fragile, and tenuous state, difficult to maintain across time. The rates of divorce, re-divorce, relationship violence, and abuse today attest to the face we are failing at romantic love. And for teen-aged and adult children of divorce, romantic love can be especially elusive. Because they have no roadmap for a satisfying, stable romatic relationship derived from their own parents, they are confused by what love is and tend to make poor partner choices. Borrowing heavily from popular culture for unrealistic standards regarding love, they become disillusioned when their all-too-ordinary lovers don't measure up. Especially vulnerable to the problems their parents had, they tend to over-react in a similar negative fashion and are all too ready to consider divorce when unhappiness strikes. In attempting to halt intergenerational transmission of divorce, Psychologist Piorkowski points to how we can recognize that American popular culture presents an overly-sexualized, explosive, and superficial version of love that can't last. With this book, adult children of divorce can begin to see how they have been affected by familal experiences, and develop a new, realistic map to find more fulfilling and enduring romantic relastionships.

Excerpt

Romantic love is an elusive, fragile, and tenuous state—eagerly sought after and yet difficult to maintain. Nourished by fantasies and unrealistic projections, romantic love is easily deflated and readily discarded when the slings and arrows of interpersonal disappointment, conflict, and emotional assault hit hard. The 45 to 50 percent divorce rate in the United States is a powerful reminder of the massive ineptness in contemporary society when it comes to romantic love.

The American public is deeply conflicted about the value of divorce, but divorce appears to be a permanent fixture on the social scene. In fact, divorce rates around the world are on the rise. In spite of the increases, however, people worldwide tend to be ambivalent about divorce; they applaud the opportunity it provides for unhappy spouses to end marital misery and find happiness elsewhere, and at the same time they agonize about the life disruptions and loss of stability it bestows upon children. The tension between personal happiness and obligation to others, including spouse, children, church, and community, has spawned decades of public and private discourses on the subject of divorce that show no sign of abating.

Similarly, public opinion about the consequences of divorce for children is as spirited and divided as the debate about divorce itself. Research has generated scores of articles that support the premise that children are negatively affected by divorce in a variety of ways. Compared with children from intact families, children with divorced parents score significantly lower on measures of academic achievement, conduct, psychological adjustment, self-concept, and social relations in hundreds of studies dating back to the early eighties. As for more debilitating problems, Hetherington reported that 25 percent . . .

Search by... Author
Show... All Results Primary Sources Peer-reviewed

Oops!

An unknown error has occurred. Please click the button below to reload the page. If the problem persists, please try again in a little while.