Marriage in Motion: The Natural Ebb and Flow of Lasting Relationships

Marriage in Motion: The Natural Ebb and Flow of Lasting Relationships

Marriage in Motion: The Natural Ebb and Flow of Lasting Relationships

Marriage in Motion: The Natural Ebb and Flow of Lasting Relationships

Synopsis

As renowned sex and marital therapist David Schnarch reveals in this revolutionary book, keeping passion and intimacy alive requires facing the anxiety of defining yourself while getting closer to your partner, a process called differentiation. In his sexual crucible approach, you don't have to compromise or give up your desires; instead, you have to stand on your own, stay close to your partner, and be prepared to soothe yourself when you don't get what you want. Sexual encounters provide perfect opportunities to differentiate and develop the strength of love deeply. Mixing humor and compassion, Schnarch describes couples' explicit sexual encounters and dramatic therapy sessions to demonstrate how they found personal, marital, and sexual fulfillment far greater than they ever dreamed possible. In this respectful, erotic, uplifting, and spiritual guide to sexual and emotional fulfillment, David Schnarch seeks to bring out the best in each of us, to help us love on life's terms, and to revel in invigorating adult sexuality.

Excerpt

The heart is saturated with love as if [with] a divine salt which preserves it: that is what makes possible . . . the freshness of loves which have lasted a long time. Love embalms.

Victor Hugo, The Man Who Laughed

And the self is set free, for the moment, from the constant pressure of change.

Penelope Fitzgerald, The Blue Flower

At a small neighborhood restaurant, one of us met an old college roommate for lunch. Carl was looking forward to a week's vacation in Nova Scotia with his wife. He wanted to explain why the time together, free from their regular routines and responsibilities, seemed to matter so much:

When Louise gets busy and has meetings out three nights in a week, and I'm caught up in a project and working late, by the end of the week--I know it shouldn't happen so quickly--but she begins to be in a world where I no longer have ready access to her mind, even though we've been together for so long.

His words eloquently capture the tug-of-war between work and love in modern life, but they also point to a more fundamental pattern of ebb and flow that shapes all lasting relationships. There is a tidelike movement at the very heart of intimacy, a natural alternation of closeness . . .

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