Tallulah: My Autobiography

Tallulah: My Autobiography

Tallulah: My Autobiography

Tallulah: My Autobiography

Excerpt

Despite all you may have heard to the contrary, I have never had a ride in a patrol wagon.

I have milked a mammoth, and I travel with adjustable window screens. I have been up in a balloon with Sir Nigel Playfair, and down in a submarine with Gary Cooper. I have scaled an elephant in a St. Louis zoo, and christened an electric rabbit with a jeroboam of Lanson 1912. I have clerked behind a counter with Margot Asquith, and sung duets with Margaret Truman. Charged with two double-daiquiris I have churned with the conviction that I can do the Indian rope trick.

My voice has been likened to the mating call of the caribou, and to the haunting note of a Strad. Apostates have hinted that I'm the ill-begotten daughter of Medusa and the Marquis de Sade. As against these slanders there are the hymns of my champions, equally inaccurate, that I'm a fusion of Annie Laurie, Bopeep, Florence Nightingale and whichever waif Lillian Gish played in The Orphans of the Storm . Somewhere in between these contrary verdicts lies the truth. With Montaigne "I speak truth, not so much as I would, but as much as I dare; and I dare a little the more, as I grow older."

I've had tea with Lloyd George, tiffin with Ramsay MacDonald . . .

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