Raising Your Child's Inner Self-Esteem: The Authoritative Guide from Infancy through the Teen Years

Raising Your Child's Inner Self-Esteem: The Authoritative Guide from Infancy through the Teen Years

Raising Your Child's Inner Self-Esteem: The Authoritative Guide from Infancy through the Teen Years

Raising Your Child's Inner Self-Esteem: The Authoritative Guide from Infancy through the Teen Years

Synopsis

This invaluable guide is designed to help parents and counselors build self-esteem in children from infancy through adolescence, fortifying them with a healthy sense of self-esteem for the rest of their lives. Whereas some professionals are content to teach parents about building only outer self-esteem, as in parents unconditionally praising the children, Dr. Owens believes it is also essential to bolster a child's inner self-esteem. This way a child feels good from within, knows objectively that he's doing a good job, and is not solely dependent on the praise of others. While Dr. Owens believes strongly that parents must give children unconditional love, she is well aware that the world can be a harsh and difficult place. Therefore, she shows that the best gift a parent can give one's children is the tools to acquire the skills and behavior that will enable them to feel good about themselves - from within. This unique book imparts vital information on how parents can instill a sense of pride in their child each step of the way as the child's mind grows in perception and logic. Dr. Owens explains what behavior to expect from children at each developmental stage. She also supplies ample questionnaires so parents can determine the state of their children's sense of self-esteem. Most important, she wisely recognizes the needs of special groups of children. She thus offers specific advice for boosting the self-esteem of children who are shy, aggressive, unpopular, learning disabled, or gifted, as well as adopted children, only children, and children of working mothers, divorced parents, step-families, single parents, and same-sex parents.

Excerpt

Self-esteem refers to the extent to which we admire or value ourselves. Self-esteem derives from our attitudes, feelings, judgments, or evaluations of how capable, significant, successful, and worthy we are. Children -- and adults -- with high self-esteem are responsible and selfcontrolled, perceive themselves realistically, own up to their strengths and weaknesses, take pride in their accomplishments, and are not threatened by the successes of others.

Most parents recognize the importance of helping children develop positive self-esteem and place this as a high priority on their list of parental objectives. Parents recognize that if children see themselves as worthwhile, useful, lovable, competent human beings, they will be able to lead happy and productive lives. If, on the other hand, children feel worthless, unlovable, and incompetent, their lives will be plagued with self-doubt, self-pity, interpersonal ineffectiveness, and lack of success in all that they do. Without self-love, any solid and general growth of character and accomplishment is hardly possible. Nor is it possible to love others. "Indeed," says Robert Louis Stevenson, "he who loves himself, not in idle vanity, but with a plentitude of knowledge, is the best equipped of all to love his neighbors." A self-neglecting child shrinks from developing and asserting himself or herself because of uncertainty and mortification. To be healthy, at home in the world with a prospect of power, usefulness, and success, children must have healthy self-esteem.

Positive self-esteem is a basic need for every human being. Just as the body needs nutritious food to be healthy, so the personality needs esteem from others and from self to achieve emotional health. As parents, we want our children to develop healthy evaluations of themselves so that they may become successful, happy, well-adjusted adults.

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