Academic journal article Education

The Pedagodfather's Budget Preparation Guidelines for University Presidents

Academic journal article Education

The Pedagodfather's Budget Preparation Guidelines for University Presidents

Article excerpt

General Instructions

When preparing the budget, remember the values of the board, alumni, benefactors, foundations, and politicians. You are to reflect, not reflect upon, their goals and ideals. The only absolute principle to follow is: support the insatiable appetite of the Athletics Department. If you have reservations about this principle, we are not in a position to listen to them. The pedagodni and other institutional friends have spoken.

Other principles to adhere to are the cardinal, swan, owl, gull, and sparrow principles. The cardinal principle for academic funding is that the preparation of physicians, attorneys, engineers, and business leaders takes priority over everything after winning teams have been guaranteed. The swan rule for funding is that the preparation of artists, scientists, dentists, and psychologists should be next in line for monies. The owl rule is that those who are involved in the preparation of historians, philosophers, and mathematicians should follow the swans on the money fields. The gull rule is that presidents should let those who prepare librarians, social workers, and criminal justice system personnel find funds on their own. …

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