Academic journal article TriQuarterly


Academic journal article TriQuarterly


Article excerpt

he sits facing him the same theme the same analytic toil

he doesn't want to face this but wants to he has to

he has to understand this fears his fears to be free

he hears words like birds trying to talk human

he no he does hear the words in the room as real words

he understands interprets questions answers thinks

he sits in the leather chair provided across from him

he was a child and is again and is not definitely not but his pain is a broken toy

he brings in words like "need" "disappoint" "empower" "symbiosis" the last the crucial one

he uses words in the room like a tweezers or pickaxe

he cannot break through this inchworm process of

he refuses to decide what the process is

he can't stop it wants to stop it can't live though he lives

he knows the imaginary life breeds self-consciousness

he wants each session to chip off another gram of dread

he knows his recent escapade of a dead foetus clarifies the root of his incurable his crippled brand of love

he must go back again over the same theme that tells itself in words in memories in life in silence again again

he asks why again his problem remains intractable unsolved

he hammers at himself with his mother's for God's sake find new names for this with Her Introjected Mind

he's like a man focusing the right eyepiece on binoculars left right left until the field's clear nothing in the field his chest bursts with futile desire

they are facing each other silent which often happens the therapist stops looking out the window turns reports "I had this patient in the hospital who lived with his mother until he was 40, when he met a woman he wanted to marry. …

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