Academic journal article Human Architecture: Journal of the Sociology of Self-Knowledge

My Translucent Father

Academic journal article Human Architecture: Journal of the Sociology of Self-Knowledge

My Translucent Father

Article excerpt

"Where you used to be there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in daytime, and falling into at night." (Edna St. Vincent Millay)

He still haunts my life, even though he is not around, or even dead for that matter. My father is a "deadbeat dad," due to the fact that he "has not paid his child support in over three months" (Folse 151). As a matter of fact, he has not paid child support in over three years. I cannot recall the last child support check my mother had received that was substantial in supporting two daughters. If anything, I remember that it was not even close to being sufficient as a support base for my sister and I to live off of for even a week.

Since I was about eight years old, my biological parents have been divorced. At first, my father seemed to pay his child support on time and visit his daughters regularly, if he could. Everything seemed like it was going to be o.k., even though I did not have a custodial father. Then dear daddy fell behind on his support and his visits. No real reason seemed apparent for this change. My father soon remarried, which was a good thing in my eyes because his new wife, my new stepmother, would put his child support attitudes in line. She kept my father paying the support on time, and with plenty of money. Life still seemed pretty satisfying. I had two families. Then disaster struck. My father was, yet again, getting divorced. The money for support stopped coming. Dad stopped visiting. He moved to Buffalo, which at that time, as well as now, was 8 hours away from his daughters. He totally left us behind.

Since that second divorce my father went through, my mother has not seen nearly enough child support to take care of her daughters. She has been to court, hired private lawyers, written to congressmen, and still nothing was found. I have even asked my father for money for my college bills, and he did not respond. My mother's career was not able to support herself and her two daughters so we could live in this money hungry world. She was having trouble supporting her children's basic needs.

My mother soon remarried as well, and still, the monetary situation did not change. My stepfather only paid what he owed. He never took care of my sister and I. He was selfish and money hungry. He did not want to spend anything on anyone but himself. When it came time for me to attend college, I was paying half of my college bills, while my mother took out loans to pay the rest. My stepfather did not help one bit. In addition to not helping, my mother and stepfather claimed joint taxes, and I was not eligible for financial aid at that point because he made too much money. I never saw any of this money. I should have been eligible for financial aid.

My mother was having a very hard time with my college bills. She was also trying to better her life by going to college, so she could find a better career. I tried helping as much as I could, working 70 hour work-weeks during the summer months to raise money for college. My mother still had a problem supporting her family.

Another issue coming up soon in our lives is that my younger sister will be graduating high school this June. She is going to need money to attend college. Now, where will this money come from? It's not coming from my stepfather; I can guarantee that. It's not coming from our biological father. He's a deadbeat with too many problems and who doesn't care. My mother cannot afford another college bill, and I cannot help support my sister's college funds. I can barely support myself in college. Fortunately, my sister might be eligible for more financial aid than I was because of my mother's second divorce. My stepfather will no longer be included on her taxes, so my sister will be eligible with my mother's salary. This might be the only hope of seeing my younger sister go to college.

Currently, my mother is getting divorced from my stepfather. …

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