Academic journal article Chicago Review

Ego Confession

Academic journal article Chicago Review

Ego Confession

Article excerpt

I want to be known as the most brilliant man in America

Introduced to Gyalwa Karmapa heir of the Whispered Transmission

Crazy Wisdom Practice Lineage

as the secret young wise man who visited him and winked anonymously

decade ago in Gangtok

Prepared the way for Dharma in America without mentioning Dharma

scribbled laughter

Who saw Blake and abandoned God

To whom Leary the Messianic Fink sent a message darkest hour steel

sheets "somewhere in the Federal Prison system"

who went backstage to Cecil Taylor serious chat chord structure & Time

in nightclub

who fucked a rose-lipped rock star in a tiny bedroom slum watched by a

statue of Vajrasattva

and overthrew the CIA with a silent thought

Old Bohemians many years hence in Viennese beergardens'll recall

his many young lovers with astonishing faces and iron breasts

his gnostic apparatus magical observation of spiderwebs

extraordinary cooking, lung stew & Spaghettiala Vongole and recipe for

salad dressing 3 parts oil one part vinegar much garlic and honey a


his extraordinary ego, at service of Dharma and completely empty

unafraid its own self's spectre

parroting the gossip of gurus and geniuses famous for their reticence

Who sang a blues made rock stars weep and moved old black guitarists to

laughter in Memphis

I want to be the spectacle of Poesy triumphant over the trickery of the

Omniscient breathing its own breath thru War tear gas spy hallucination

Whose common sense astonished gaga Gurus and rich Artistes

Who could call the Justice department & threaten to Blow the Whistle

Who stopt the Wars, turned back petrochemical Industries' Captains to

grieve and groan in bed

Who chopped wood, built forest houses & established farms

distributed his monies to poor poets & nourished the imaginative genius

of the land

Sat silent in the roar of jazz writing poetry with an ink pen

wasn't afraid of God or Death after his 48th year

Let his brains turn to water under Laughing Gas his gold molar pulled by

futuristic dentists

seaman knew ocean's surface a year carpenter late learned bevel and mattock

son, conversed with elder Pound & treated his father gently

-all empty all for show, all for the sake of Poesy

to set surpassing example of sanity as measure for late generations

Exemplify Muse Power to the young avert suicide

accepting his own lie & the gaps between lies with equal good humor

Solitary in worlds full of insects & singing birds all solitary

-Who had no subject but himself in many disguises

some outside his own body including empty air-filled space in forests


Even climbed mountains to create his mountain, with ice ax & crampons & ropes, over Glaciers

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