Academic journal article Antipodes

Domicile

Academic journal article Antipodes

Domicile

Article excerpt

there'S your SeVen bedroomS, ensuIte, no exceptionS, goeS without Saying, eVery one, you want to go blundering down the hall in the dead of night groping for the light switch, breaking your arse tripping on the edge of a rug, sorry, my apologies, you'll have to do that somewhere else. Also your vanity, your walk-in robe, your every convenience, slightest suggestion, merest whim, you've got it. A storm of fittings, your teak, your granite, your marble, your leather, superior finish, whatever opens and closes, smoother than silent, the slightest fingertip, craftsmanship up the wazoo.

Well, what's a life without vision?

What's a man without grasp?

W. C. Fields, tattle has it, enjoyed his gin under an umbrella upon which the sound of rain was made to gently play.

Which I've always liked.

Nice touch.

So.

Please.

After you.

Your entrance, your introduction, your foyer, your vestibule, your hall.

Your handy immediate amenities, you'll note, to your left, your mudroom, your gunroom, your rainy day requirements, your boots and brollies, your hats and cloaks.

Shall we?

Through here.

Your living. Your lounge. Your library. Your smell of learning and leather. The odd African antelope and such in trophied accomplishment above. Springbok. Wa- ter buffalo. Every head its history.

Now.

Your study. Your studio. Your assorted nooks and crannies. Cubbyholes. Hide- aways. Secret space. Private den.

Well, what can I tell you?

Boys will be boys.

Those doors? That's your dining. Its every gradation. Diplomatic banquet for forty. Simple family lunch. …

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