Academic journal article Women's Studies Quarterly

This Body of a Crime

Academic journal article Women's Studies Quarterly

This Body of a Crime

Article excerpt

I was afraid

I was alone

Hereafter I will always be afraid & alone

When the darkness

when the silence

when the human nature

of an approaching shadow

tears my heart into jagged pieces

to cut my teeth

In the language of cases & rules

I am neatly transcribed

tucked in sweet dreams

amid the files

Fear gives me significance

already I am textbook material

held down against the sheets

my flesh curling back

again the winds of anger disbelief & shame

They call me a rape

but I say it was done to me

I have a name

my own body apart from this one

I am the body of a crime

discovered by the league of men

fingers greedily probing the innermost

but despite all this

I still think I am more

woman than statistic

You want bruises

the smell of flesh on record

a fracture to knit in the folder

wounds for release

You want hysteria

my bleary face in profile

& perhaps missing buttons too

mysterious threads

slithering & unravelling in your drawer

& yes I fought

& no I did not fight

There was a gun

there was a knife

or there was no weapon but fear & betrayal

the damned inequity of my own genetics

Your inferences are obvious

& insulting

Your concern is admirable

especially on paper

& those pills which make me sick

develop human guppies

another medical victory

You will ask for blood

& I will give you more

more blood more answers

more bloody answers

until everyone is satisfied

I will nourish myself on memory

too vivid

even for cross reference

I am your rape

but I have a name

a body apart from this one

plundered

for its remaining loot

The crime is yours

[Author Affiliation]

Rob K. …

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