Academic journal article Hecate

Bikers' Wedding

Academic journal article Hecate

Bikers' Wedding

Article excerpt

Still talked about in Paddington

The total marriage scene

When Piglet married Creature

And mayhem reigned supreme

'Twas Animal who married them

'Twas he who called the Banns

Summoned to the Court of Blood

Those favoured with the brand

There was Mumbles and The Imbecile

The Lob and Gutz's mate

Trucker and The Flash were there

As always on the make

Three glorious Biker Dukedoms

Black Abbots, Snot, Bad News

When they saw the bride screamed out

Is that the shag he screws

She don't look good for very much

For Christ's sake can she fuck

She don't look good for nothin' else

Animal does she suck?

So Animal depressed a few

First bloodlet of the night

When Piglet married Creature

In the wholest of all rites

Sex machine was bridesmaid

Reaper was best man

Jack the Groper, Groomsman

Animal tied his hands

The ceremony started

When the Bikers were subdued

And most of us attended

To the changing of the mood

Animal called on all his brothers

Once and twice and thrice

From Yankhater in New Zealand

To Miniprick who rooted mice

Called on them to witness

The mingling of the blood

'Twixt Creature and the Piglet

Bouncy lady and handsome stud

The moon was full and rising

Dogs howled long in fright

Supreme in pagan dignity

Animal caressed the knife

He slashed at chest of Piglet

Notched out Creature's ear

Raised the knife now bloodied

To eyes dark blue and clear

In tones of dire menace

He continued with the rite

Placed his hands upon them

As if from some great height

His voice came stern and even

Boomed like a double bass

I want you lot to remember this

And he stared from face to face

From now until forever

Whenever his heart calls

Whether in Hell or Heaven

Creature you will hear it all

And as for you young Piglet

Make sure you keep it fed

The Creature likes attention

And a decent roof and bed

Pressing bloodied ear to heartthrob

He invoked again the Name, and

If any bastard harms you two

I'll decentralize his brain

And now the joining's finished

Get up and into the grog

Then he kicked a drunken root rat

Who was trying to kiss his clog

The howls and screams and cheering

Brought Paddington awake

As the celebration started

Booze, song, sex and steak

Imbecile was ecstatic

Ate six glasses and a jug

Mumble's sheila rooted him

On Animal's bedroom rug

The bikers drank their righteous share

While cooking fresh slain steaks

Animal the day before had

Visited some estate

The rioting continued

And the moon hung bright and still

As if to memorise forever

This scene of ripe goodwill

For Piglet and the Creature

Rocking madly to Grateful Dead

The scene was as it should be

Till they busted up again

Then Animal will sort it out

Lay the crisis on the line

Remind them `we're all brothers'

His and yours and mine


Animal is dead now

Hitched a ride back home

He left us lots of memories

And he certified this poem

There'll never be another

Story teller quite like him

Cobra-wise he challenged life

Drank its venom with a grin

He laboured long for family

Shared everything he had

We often saw him angry

But never saw him sad

I wasn't at his death scene

We'd had a fight the week before

And before I could yell sorry

He'd gone and closed the door

I never will forget him

And when the moon is bright

I remember that great wedding

And I know he did it right

All his life he'd been a loner

Never called himself a friend

But his mark is ever on us

And we'll meet him round the bend

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