Academic journal article Chicago Review

For Mario Santiago

Academic journal article Chicago Review

For Mario Santiago

Article excerpt

We have all been calling each other with the noise of totally open mouths

believing that each one of us from the outside in were 10, 000 men

believing we could cram more ten thousands in and we were alone

and mute in the dust cloud and we believed. Myself admirably shy,


weekly looking for a place, thighs, slices of men,

go figure like circuits of fear,

mean peeking at fractions of hips, not the whole thing, out of fear.

Serving myself tejocote fruits,

streams of skeleton,

mute knots of street bodies newborn to an Iron Age.

Vicente, Luis or Julio who I don' t know, and you don' t either, are the men

who now were prehistoric and who continue to be productive.

Miserable I incrusted Giovanni Batista' s eyes in my face and spent my

time in plazas. All the houses with their windows open, air hunger.

I wanted to know where the sadness of so many came from.

That' s why we first set out to buy sweets waiting to find other

things and of course we never found them; we set out to see the stone,

elbows bare to the sun, we

licked everything, they licked. It was a different love, the

important things have gone about changing, even the way of life

for men and

women, no longer from without the cafés or parks, because

men are still shouting and one wants to scratch himself and relate

to the men and women. The odor of cement and scaffolding was ours

in a way because Manolo is an architect and he showed up stained

with mortar

on his suits and he stained the days and that was good. Now I notice

that I can' t love bricks and trowels in that desolate way

because I am not a mason.

In order to love life: ask your buddies for help understanding yourself

18 years in the afternoons with a hollow fever or petroleum and

the shame of being unable to be free. …

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