Psychology Today

Articles from Vol. 47, No. 4, July/August

A Dream of Retirement?
My husband of seven years recently took early retirement. I sold my business, which I ran for 27 years, when we married. Ever since, I've been doing pretty much everything-household duties, yard work, cooking-for our life together. Now that he's home,...
Attitude Adjustment
YOU KNOW THE STORY: Over the decades, young people have slipped ever deeper Into their own little worlds, lost in screens and headphones. Starting in the early 70s, an annual survey of the personal values of high school seniors has indicated a steady...
Boyhood Wonder
WE EXPECT THE protagonists in a well-made film to mature and change. But Mason, the main character in Richard Linklater's new movie, Boyhood, literally grows up before our eyes.In a radical approach to narrative filmmaking, Linklater, who is perhaps...
Child.Ol'.a.Try
Frankand Gina* were the couple friends admired mostintellectual, funny, professors who taught on the same campus. They seemed perfectly matched. But after the birth of their first child, their sex life dropped out, they bickered incessantly, and both...
Designed to Thrill
HOW DO YOU take abstract ideas and expand them into imagery that is not merely concrete but compelling? That is the challenge the PT Art Department faces. "Every issue presents a brand new puzzle to solve," says Creative Director ED LEVINE (center),...
Dissecting the Date
THE SUBTLE FORCES STEERING YOUR FIRST NIGHT OUTTHERE MAYBE an infinite number of ways a first date shapes and foreshadows two peoples' romantic future...or lack thereof. A total mismatch is usually obvious, but research suggests that in other cases,...
Feedback
CHANGING COURSE"REINVENT YOURSELF" (JUNE) is the best guide to discovering what you want in life that I've ever read, especially in regard to careers. I plan to refer to it as I evaluate the next steps I make in my own career. Thanks for the great resource!ADAM...
Healing at the Cutting Edge
Psychology Today talked with Marissa Maldonado, M.B.A., director of business development and admissions for Sovereign Health, a group of innovative addiction and mental health treatment centers in California.Q: What distinguishes the * Sovereign Health...
How to Ask for a Favor
NEED SOMEONE TO lend you a hand, some money, oran ear? Asking for help isn't always easy, especially if you're prone to guilt and pridefulness. Here are some things to keep in mind the next time you need a favor,IBe honest and straightforward. When you're...
Locating Lovers
HERE'S A RUNDOWN of some of the most popular smartphone dating apps that aim to help users locate mates for life...or just fora night.' r x TINDER A popular app that makes appraising people seem like a game, Tinder presents a succession of potential...
Love & Lust
is not the word I'd use," says Hannah of her 23-year marriage to Barry* "Slow simmer" is more like it. "One thing you learn over time," she says, "is that, no matter how long you live together, two people always inhabit separate worlds. Some part of...
Love the One You're Near
IN THE BEGINNING there was online dating, with carefully curated profiles detailing everything from education level to favorite movies ana providing earnest answers to questions like "What's the first thing people notice about you?"Then came the smartphone...
Math: The Extra Sense
THERE IS NOTHING like reading correspondence between two gçnlises to appreciate all the ways in which a person can be right-which is to say, can be brilliant-and still feel stymied. In lauctilJg his cousin Francis GalMl'MStudy of individual differences...
Off the Chain
RULE BREAKING IS pervasive in our daily lives: lying to a friend, "forgetting" to return something you've borrowed, running a red light. In most instances, ignoring the rules carries a negative connotation, but this isn't always the case. Creative thinkers,...
Parents Just Don't Understand
AT THE BROOKLYN preschool where my wife teaches, the parents of the youngest students, the not-yet-3-year-olds, arrive each fall wide-eyed and anxious. It's the start of their children's grand adventure in learning and socialization, with all the promise...
Partners in Crime
KARLA HOMOLKA was one of those girls who seem to have it all. She was a 17-year-old high school student with thick blond hair, sparkling blue eyes, and a coquettish smile, and a parade of suitors vied for her attention. But Karla fantasized about being...
Stopped in Your Tracks
A MESMERIZING WORK of art, an unbelievable story, a nail-biterof a basketball game-some thingsare just naturally captivating. Why these, though, and not the drying of paint? In Riveted, JIM DAVIES, a cognitive scientist at Carleton University, proposes...
SUPeR SURVIVAL OF THe FITTEST
DEFINING RESILIENCEAsha Mevlana, 38Oj N THE SPECTRUM OF TRAUMA SURVIVORSHIP, j people fall anywhere between hiding under a rock and rock stardom. Asha ..........I Mevlana doesn't hide under rocks. When she was 24, she had a great job at a start-up, an...
The Brain Aquatic
WHEN TULSI GABBARD, the U.S. Representative for Hawaii's secondcongressional district, heads home from Washington, D.C., a couple of times each month, the first thing she does is drop her bags, slip into a bathing suit, and make a beeline for the ocean....
The Right Way to Be Wrong
THE USES OF SELF-DECEPTIONTHERE IS SUCH a thing as being wrong for the right reasons.But first, the flat-out-wrong list, as explored in this issue. The contemporary American couple, it seems, is wrong about what derails sex in long-term relationships....
What's in a Drop?
YOU SWISH, YOU swirl, and perhaps you sniff as you raise the glass to your lips. The beverage you're enjoying has been quenching human thirst for eons, and its special properties were imparted by the environment at its source. In fact, you've been drinking...
What's Your Excuse?
MAKING EXCUSES MAY be poorform-whether we're summoning a halfbaked reason for going 45 In a 30-mph zone or blaming the subway forour lateness, aga/n-but we use them anyway, at least occasionally, to deflect some of the blame for our mlsteps. Is It really...
When Love Is a Foreign Concept
I'M FROM HUNAN province in China. I was around three when my father took me out for a day of fun, including a trip to a playground. I couldn't walk, so he always carried me. (Later, I was diagnosed with polio and scoliosis.) As the sun was setting, he...
Why Pursuing Your Passion Can Backfire
IF CAREER COUNSELORS had a motto, it might be "Do what you love!"or "Follow your passion!"Alas, that can be risky advice, because most people's passions lie in just a few areas: creative outlets (performing, writing, or visual arts); worthy causes (poverty,...
Yes, Virginia, There Is a Way to Ace Calculus
IT IS A DILEMMA for many a liberal arts major. Do you cling tight to your B.A. in Slavic Languages and Literature or strike out for more quantitative shores?Barbara Oakley's life, and her most recent book, offer inspiration.Agifted linguist, Oakley enlisted...
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