Magazine article New Statesman (1996)

Competition

Magazine article New Statesman (1996)

Competition

Article excerpt

Win vouchers to spend at any TESCO store

Competition No 3794

Set by Brendan O'Byrne, 11 August

You were asked for sayings from a made-up person of two names bound together by a common thread, eg, Dirty Harry Potter: "Go ahead, Draco. Make my fortnight!"

Report by Ms de Meaner

The number of cheats I've had to shoot down! Mark Anthony Blair, Marie Claire Short, Spencer Tracy Emin, Mother Theresa May, Frankie Howard Phillips Lovecraft, and so on. I also thought those who sent in Prince Charles and Martin Luther King had a bit of a nerve. Finally, I banned any version of Oliver Hardy Amies's "this is a fine dress you got me into" on the grounds that Ollie never said "fine", but "nice". A rennet for every winner, in addition to the Tesco vouchers, which go to Gervase MacGregor.

Nicolas Walter Mitty: I know there is no God; he told me so himself. Just William Blake: I don't know whose feet did it, but it jolly well wasn't mine.

GERARD BENSON

Douglas Bader-Meinhof: I'm from the RAF.

BILL GREENWELL

Prince Albert Einstein: She thinks it's relatively amusing.

GEORGE CARR-HILL

Muhammad Ali G: I is the greatest.

ALISON SMITH

Bob Dylan Thomas: Do not go gentle into that hard rain.

Horatio Nelson Mandela: Kiss me, Mbeki.

L P Hartley Shawcross: The past is a different country; we were the masters then.

NICHOLAS HODGSON

Robert Falcon Scott Fitzgerald: In a real dark night of the soul, it is always Antarctica in midwinter.

Rachel Carson McCullers: The heart is lonely in the silent spring. …

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