Magazine article Insight on the News

Woe to the Soldier Who Fails to Grasp This Basic Training

Magazine article Insight on the News

Woe to the Soldier Who Fails to Grasp This Basic Training

Article excerpt

Byline: Stephen Goode, INSIGHT

Woe to the Soldier Who Fails to Grasp This Basic Training

A longtime friend of Insight e-mailed the following to for the people. They come under the rubric "Timeless Military Advice" and they're taken (or at least purport to be) from both named and anonymous sources. Wherever they came from, consider:

* "Aim toward the enemy." Instruction printed on U.S. rocket launcher.

* "Five-second fuses only last three seconds." Infantry Journal.

* "Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo." Infantry Journal.

* "If the enemy is in range, so are you." Infantry Journal.

* "Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground." U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop.

* "It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed." U.S. Air Force Manual.

* "A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit." The Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.

* "Tracers work both ways." U.S. Army Ordnance.

* "Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid." Col. David Hackworth.

* "If your attack is going too well, you're probably walking into an ambush." Infantry Journal.

* "Never tell the platoon sergeant you have nothing to do." Unknown Army recruit.

* "When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend." U.S. Army.

* Lastly, and for the people's favorite: "If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him." U.S. Army Ammo Troop.

Charge-Card Crooks Get Very Little Credit

Keith Atkin, an Insight reader from Pella, Iowa, sent this for the people's way. It's a major contribution to this column's file of "America's Dumbest Criminals. …

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