Magazine article New Statesman (1996)

Get Drunk, Fall Over-But Never, Ever, Admit Your Real Age at a Television Party

Magazine article New Statesman (1996)

Get Drunk, Fall Over-But Never, Ever, Admit Your Real Age at a Television Party

Article excerpt

The invitation from "LivingTV: the home of Will and Grace" was exciting. Because, as homosexual sitcoms go, Will and Grace is the best I've ever seen. The invite was to the channel's birthday party, a celebration of "ten amazing years on air". Apparently, LivingTV's biggest commission this year has been a chat show, hosted by the former page three model Melinda Messenger.

Hard to tell what persuaded me to take a night off from packing boxes for our house move. The offer of a "carriage" to and from the nightclub in central London was a major selling point, though. And so it was that my friend and I tottered out of a Mercedes, wearing matching three-inch heels-and into the club, Pasha.

"Holy Moly!"

"Bloody hell!"

"Quick--get to the bar." We shot off in separate directions in search of gaps among the thirsty hordes. We were intimidated by the vast number of guests--not because of any insecurity, but because we were fashionably late (by two hours) and feared the free bar would run out any second. We couldn't have been more gloriously wrong. In just under five minutes we reconvened at the back of the vast dance floor with a glass of champagne and a double chaser each. Does this sound excessive to you, dear moderate reader? Then you have never been to a TV public relations party. Being sober is not an option.

We inched our way past girls called Tasha and Talia spilling out of barely-there tops and sprayed-on jeans. The floors were already sticky with posh alcopops spilt by gyrating marketing executives. As we knocked back our drinks and debated how to get the next round, a man called Vince sidled over.

"Are you two sisters?" he yelled above U2. "I mean, really really sisters ?" He'd been drinking since lunchtime. "Well I can, can't I? 'Cos I own the advertising business." He paused. We were supposed to say "wow". …

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