Magazine article The Advocate (The national gay & lesbian newsmagazine)

Mother and Child Reunion

Magazine article The Advocate (The national gay & lesbian newsmagazine)

Mother and Child Reunion

Article excerpt

The very thing that defined my return to life is in fact responsible for his deepest wound. My 8-year-old boy cried last night--in the backseat of the Suburban. He has as many memories of me sitting next to him as he does in front of. I don't remember sitting next to my mom in a car--only the back of her. head--blue eyes in the rearview mirror.

Mothers--the common bond.

I have never met the woman who birthed our child. I have a photo of her and a letter she wrote about her pregnancy. I read it over and over as he grew--when he took his first step--I put them away--in a safe-deposit box.

I know he was wounded by their separation. How could he not be--they shared blood and flesh for 36 weeks--a common heartbeat--thump thump.

When he arrived in my arms--little tiny thing in a hospital one-sie--I ripped it right off him. I had new clean fresh baby-scented clothes--soft for his skin as he needed comfort most of all. He slept in my bed next to me--I watched him all night--afraid I would roll over on him--or he would stop breathing--my tiny baby boy And my sister was there and she helped me so much--'cause she was a veteran--so good at babies and mothering--so natural.

I didn't bathe for 10 days--I read that an adopted baby must familiarize themselves with the scent of the new mother--to help the bonding You see, a baby in the womb can smell their mom. Try to trick him into thinking the new smell was the original.

Kids know.

Parker Jaren O'Donnell--unconditionally Adored--beyond reason. He has begun to access the original wound--the one no amount of my love will fix. He was left--he feels unwanted. And I sit amazed at his emotional courage. How lucky he is--to know how to get there--inside himself already. I am proud of this boy. …

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