Magazine article The Advocate (The national gay & lesbian newsmagazine)

Winning It All

Magazine article The Advocate (The national gay & lesbian newsmagazine)

Winning It All

Article excerpt

As a person who has had a same-sex wedding, I have followed the marriage debate closely. As a former Boston resident and ongoing Red Sox fan (even post-A-Rod debacle), I have noticed an interesting parallel between hometown baseball and the same-sex marriage cause: we want to believe we are going to win, but doubt looms ever so close in our minds.

Given the history of our movement, calling the legalization of same-sex marriage a "win" is strange in itself. Marriage is one of the more anti-gay liberation things we could ask for. When riots broke out at the Stonewall Inn in New York City, it was not be cause we wished the state to play room of a role in our lives but because we wanted to be left alone. When we went to court to overturn sodomy laws, it wasn't to invite the state into our bedrooms but to kick it out. Now we're asking for the option to invite the state to step into our most personal relationships, to obtain the rights, privileges, and responsibilities that come with civil marriage.

I am no different. My partner, Pippa, and I wed last summer. It was beautiful, and planning it was an adventure. We went from parents who weren't sure what to make of it to a large wedding complete with a toast in which her father (a Yankees fan) loudly declared, "Screw the Administration!" It's amazing what time and personal experience can accomplish. We knew it wasn't legal, but that made it no less real.

In an ironic twist, we moved from Boston to New Hampshire in October for Pippa's medical residency; six weeks later Massachusetts's highest court handed down its decision. Not the best trade, but we're still happy with the new playing field.

One day we plan on having children. They'll have plenty of playmates, based on the rate at which our friends are having kids. Of course, we want to make sure that our children have the make opportunities as their friends from non-stone-sex partner households. How many children with same-sex parents are them? Information on our families is scarce. As a public-health professional focusing on the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender communities, I know how little research is being done. …

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