Magazine article The Advocate (The national gay & lesbian newsmagazine)

Forever

Magazine article The Advocate (The national gay & lesbian newsmagazine)

Forever

Article excerpt

I got married not long ago. Walked down the steps of the San Francisco courthouse to find a sea of well-wishers and throngs of camera crews. What to say--always ... but not that day. I made a vow in the morning: I would stay present the entire day. I would think only of love, peace, and justice.

I would not allow any darkness in.

I held Kel's hand in mine, looked into her eyes, and said the words I never imagined I would: "Till death do us part."

Forever. We promised forever. And the earth shifted on its axis.

For six years we have lived together. For two years we have been publicly out. People knew we were a we, and it was somehow accepted and sorta OK. The women at Target still smiled, through my lawsuit even. When I was accused, of being a cancer-hating monster, still, smiles only. But I wondered if this act, my marrying Kel, would change my Target-going experience.

There was a change at Blake's school, a pre-K in a church two blocks from our house. We have been a welcome part of the pre-K community; Nyack is an amazing town. But on Friday, the day

after I got hitched, the afternoon pickup was tense. The woman who runs the program saw me and looked away quickly and then back for a quick hi, and then nothing--as another mom walked in from the other direction with a loud "Good for you. Congratulations."

Awkward pause.

I thought about my choice. Would it be the light or the dark? Was the day after my wedding going to be about those who shunned me? No. I wanted to hug the woman who felt so newly unsure of me. To say I understand, change is hard. But. it's the same me. Don't be afraid.

Teenage boys are the most vulnerable; they have the hardest time. They say my name loudly, laughing sometimes, challenging at others. I stop and say hi and offer my hand and wait. So far--this week--we touched each time. …

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