Magazine article Newsweek


Magazine article Newsweek


Article excerpt

Byline: Quotation sources from top to bottom: Associated Press, New York Times, The Washington Post (2), Reuters, Associated Press, Reuters, Ananova, Philadelphia Inquirer, Associated Press

"Let them go naked for a while, at least the kids."

Teresa Heinz Kerry, expressing concern that hurricane relief shipments to the Caribbean contained too many clothes and not enough food or water

"I am very sad knowing I will miss the holiday season. And I will miss all of my pets--my two beloved, fun-loving dogs, my seven lively cats, my canaries, my horses and even my chickens."

Domestic icon Martha Stewart, announcing that she's ready to begin serving her five-month prison sentence instead of waiting to see if an appeals court would overturn her conviction

"Again, kissing Wolf Blitzer does not--does not--cause razor burn."

Bearded CNN anchor Wolf Blitzer, defending himself after an episode of "Who Wants to Be A Millionaire?" contained the question "Razor burn is an irritating skin condition commonly caused by what activity: shaving, flossing, shampooing, kissing Wolf Blitzer?"

"As long as Chucky's been fed, Chucky's happy. Right now, I don't think he's happy."

Alabama Gulf Coast Zoo director Patty Hall, on 12-foot, 1,000 pound Chucky, who was one of nine alligators that disappeared after the zoo experienced flooding from Hurricane Ivan

"Saddam Hussein, if he's alive, is spending a whale of a lot of time trying to not get caught. And we've not seen him on a video since 2001."

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, confusing former Iraqi president Saddam Hussein with Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden in a recent address at the National Press Club

"Any bodily fluid is considered infectious. …

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