Magazine article The Advocate (The national gay & lesbian newsmagazine)

Let's Hear It for the Boys

Magazine article The Advocate (The national gay & lesbian newsmagazine)

Let's Hear It for the Boys

Article excerpt

In today's modern world it's so hard to stay au courant. Just ask Tom Ridge. When there was all that chatter about a terrorist group planning to interfere with the election--and they would not specify if it was the same group that had interfered with the election the last time--the reds quarantined several blocks and buildings in New York and New Jersey. Some doubted Tom and his timing, so he reluctantly revealed that the four-year-old information was discovered on floppies from an old Kaypro computer found on the border of Pakistan. A pastel is going to be added to the color wheel of terror indicating "Never mind."

Apparently some new old chatter has also sent the Vatican into lockdown. The bishop of Boston has been selling off the holy real estate because the church needs money to finance the pedophilia buyouts.

And in one of the buildings slated for redevelopment--right next door to a parish house--workers discovered a 30-year-old copy of Our Bodies, Ourselves. It was immediately translated into Latin and carrier-pigeoned to the Vatican.

Omnium hellium brokium loosum.

The pope had a tantrum, ergo, he got his steno, head of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith--the Cardinal aptly named Ratzinger--to draft a 37-page paper called "On the Collaboration of Men and Women in the Church and in the World." Or in the Latin, "Bee-otchium Slapium."

In this latest papal Post-it, His Against StemCelledness lays the blame for many modern ills--bloggers, those multipocketed pants with the zip-off lower leg, Kelly Ripa's speaking voice--squarely where it belongs: radical feminism.

Talk about old information. Has someone at the Vatican been watching too many reruns of That '60s Show?

Let's do the time warp again! A 2,000-year-old Christian identity movement still bedeviled by radical feminism? …

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