Magazine article Ebony

The Ebony Advisor: Expert Advice on Love and Relationships

Magazine article Ebony

The Ebony Advisor: Expert Advice on Love and Relationships

Article excerpt

Q I'm in a relationship with a man whom I love very much. I know for a fact that he cares for me, but he is not "in love" with me. He told me so. We still talk on the telephone and have sex, but I want more. What should I do?

Needing More

A "You do not want to throw yourself at the feet of a man who's walking away from you!" says Christopher L. Burge, coauthor of His Rules: God's Practical Road Map for Becoming and Attracting Mr. or Mrs. Right. "Chances are high that if he mustered up the confidence to share that he is not in love with you, it's not new information to him. Most men mull things over in their minds [sometimes forever] before they share them verbally, so please know that he probably means what he says." Having pillow talk, Burge adds, and continuing to have sex with him is simply prolonging the inevitable pain. And it's not a smart thing to do. You must ask yourself what incentives you are giving a man to change his conduct with you--he is getting the milk for free. And is this really the shaky foundation on which you want to build a long-term relationship? If the answers are none and no, then you must start taking steps toward the 'Exit' immediately. Sure, it will be an emotionally difficult thing for you to do, but in the long run he will respect you as a woman more, and you will demonstrate respect for yourself and begin to build or rebuild your self-esteem.

Q My best friend of seven years recently chose her boyfriend over our friendship. I never thought the guy was right for her, but I kept these feelings to myself. …

Search by... Author
Show... All Results Primary Sources Peer-reviewed

Oops!

An unknown error has occurred. Please click the button below to reload the page. If the problem persists, please try again in a little while.