Magazine article Ebony

Don't Take Love, or Your Loved One, for Granted

Magazine article Ebony

Don't Take Love, or Your Loved One, for Granted

Article excerpt

I'm as guilty as anyone, perhaps more than most. At times, we all take those we love, and those who love us the most, for granted. This Valentine's Day, let's mend our nonchalant ways. It's true that a good man is hard to find, but many of us value too lightly the good men that we have.

For example, while recently bed-ridden with a nasty virus, I lashed out at the one who was trying to care for me. He made me soup, brought me tea, changed my bedding and otherwise tried to make me comfortable and help me get well. Yet, I was irritable and impatient. I couldn't understand why he didn't check on me more often, why he didn't bring me fresh water more quickly, why he made so much noise in the other room. (The loud music really was aggravating my achy head.)

Why, when he returned from the grocery store (and he hates shopping), he didn't prepare my food more quickly. I could hear him in the kitchen running water, putting away the groceries, moving pots and pans. But I wanted something to drink, and I wanted it right then. I was too weak to call his name loudly enough for him to hear me. I waited, and waited. And waited. Five minutes passed. Two more minutes passed. So I dragged my miserable body from the bed to the kitchen. He ignored the dirty look I threw his way and said, pleasantly: "Honey, I was just washing your fruit and warming you some soup. I could have gotten that water for you." He helped me back to bed.

It was the bug's fault. I'm usually not so difficult. The man was doing the best he could. Actually better than most. I have much for which to be thankful. Not every woman is blessed to have someone to tend to her needs during such down times. And there I was acting like Miss B- when the man was actually being caring, nurturing and sensitive to my needs. Aren't these the characteristics women say they want and need in a man?

That same evening I apologized and thanked him for taking such good care of me. …

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