Magazine article New Statesman (1996)

Donny Osmond Gets Head Start over the Babycham Kid

Magazine article New Statesman (1996)

Donny Osmond Gets Head Start over the Babycham Kid

Article excerpt

* With the Talibrown suddenly in a replay of the chaotic end of the Blair era, fingers of blame point in all directions, though most lead to wee Dougie Alexander and the Babycham Kid, Ed Balls. It's fair to say the Father of the Nation is kicking himself. My snout says the biggest snap-poll sceptic was one Gordon Brown, who, as soon as he allowed himself to be persuaded by an excitable kitchen cabinet, found wee Dougie going cold. Interesting to note fellow-traveller David Miliband swiftly disclosing his 20:20 hindsight in always opposing a November poll, Donny Osmond getting one up on the Babycham Kid in the preliminary jostling to succeed Uncle Gordie. My sympathies are with the Amicus wing of the huge Unite trade union. What will it do with two million tonnes of paper, ordered for campaign leaflets?

* Sayeeda Warsi (below), made a peer to show that the Tories aren't a white conspiracy when bigwigs couldn't find her a safe seat, put on a brave face when namechecked by David "I'm a Believer" Cameron during his rehearsed spontaneity. TV cameras found her beaming with pride on the platform. Brave indeed. Two hours earlier, Dame Pauline Neville-Jones, exspymistress and banker to Slobo Milosevic, apologised to an IPPR fringe that Warsi'd had to pull out of a debate on multiculturalism to leg it back to Yorkshire to care for her sick child. Nothing to do with Warsi dodging tricky questions after her defence of BNP voters.

[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]

* Does Ming the Merciless wear sock garters? …

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