Magazine article New Statesman (1996)

Peace in Our Time as Who and Smug Promise Not to Sulk

Magazine article New Statesman (1996)

Peace in Our Time as Who and Smug Promise Not to Sulk

Article excerpt

* That unusual creature, Gisela Stuart (below), the German-born British basher of Brussels, has narrowly escaped crucifixion. The lippy ex-minister, discarded by Tony Blair and then ignored by Gordon Brown, was hours away from being hauled in by Mr Whippy--Geoff Hoon--and nailed to a cross. Her crime was to pick up a few pieces of silver for writing in London's Evening Standard rag that the PM is "patently dishonest" and "lacking veracity" on the referendum, or more pertinently, no referendum.

Stuart's unlikely saviour was the same premier she labelled a liar, the boss decreeing he didn't want to martyr his tricksy Europhobe. Not yet, anyway. A surprising number of the Talibrown, however, are able to recite the Brummie MP's majority of just 2,349 in, nice touch, a mock-German accent.

* The Tweedledem and Tweedlelib of Westminster, Chris Who and Nick Smug, have formed a mutual admiration society. So important does each think he is, that Who and Smug have promised to serve the other and not sulk should he lose. Who has also taken to boasting he was the sole Lib Dem MP to go to Smug's wedding. One nauseated Tory suggested the pair share Ming's old job, so the Lib Dems can continue to face both ways.

[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]

* Can it actually exist? Is there really a photo of Druggie Dave enjoying a spliffing time at Oxford? Would anyone roll an oversize fag that big? Or was it a herbal concoction of the sort puffed at Eton? Oh, how Cameron must be praying that friendship triumphs over commerce. …

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