Magazine article The Saturday Evening Post

You Take the Cake: Folks Who Decide to Bake Their Own Wedding Cake May Well Be out of Their Minds

Magazine article The Saturday Evening Post

You Take the Cake: Folks Who Decide to Bake Their Own Wedding Cake May Well Be out of Their Minds

Article excerpt

Should you ever decide to help your daughter bake her own wedding cake, the first thing you should know is that a deluxe Scrabble board on a swivel stand will not spin while holding the weight of a four-layer 12-inch cake. No, not even if you center it on a triple-word score.

The second thing you should know is how to deactivate the alarm system of your neighbor's house before the police get there. That's right--the same neighbor who said you were free to use her oven, to just let yourself in. I'm sure these kinds of things happen to professional bakers all the time. You know, they find themselves standing on a chair to get a better angle at trimming a cake, then go ballistic because they think they saw a gnat by the bananas.

[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]

Or--and this is one I'm sure happens a lot--one person is leveling the cake top with an electric knife and that person's mother is slowly turning the cake table, simultaneously lifting the dome part of the cake upward, when the one wielding the electric knife suddenly cuts up from beneath the dome and NEARLY CUTS OFF HER MOTHER'S FINGERS!

"Why, yes, we had a lovely time making the wedding cake together. What's that? These stubs on my right hand? Oh, they're nothing, really. All in a day's cake."

Someone suggested we watch the television show Ace of Cakes before embarking on this endeavor. I told the girls that I had seen the show once and it was totally irrelevant to what we are doing.

"Those people are beyond professionals," I said. "They are confectionary ar-teests! …

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