Magazine article New Statesman (1996)

Tactical Briefing

Magazine article New Statesman (1996)

Tactical Briefing

Article excerpt

From: The Unit

To: GB

Subject: Myths and rumours

* So, pretty good week, all in all. It seems pretty much universally accepted that your premiership is a disaster and will be prematurely terminated, but (within those given parameters) think it has actually not been all bad. It's not like you've actually done anything wrong. The pessimism seems to flow from a deeper, almost existential, sense of personal bankruptcy that exists in a world related to but separate from real life. Not sure if this is comforting or not? Maybe it is !

[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]

* In practical terms, think that one thing we do need to do immediately, other than sacking Caryn, is to challenge a few myths that have been growing up:

1) That you can now sleep for only an hour and a quarter per night What are the facts on this? Are you tucking away nearly three, as Damian boasts, or is it more like the two that your face suggests? Would it be too intrusive to put up a few hours of webcam shots of you enjoying shut-eye? Think it could be a really positive boast for us: "Look, the Prime Minister is not so constantly in a state of febrile terror at the pace and direction of events that he is permanently unable to sleep, no, not at all. In fact, look, here he is--asleep!"

2) That there is a section of your face that is animatronic

Some of the internet suggests that either the top or bottom portion of your face or jaw is Adamantium or carbon-fibre. Could we publish medical records on this? …

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