Magazine article New Statesman (1996)

Bid on a Kiss with ... No 4037

Magazine article New Statesman (1996)

Bid on a Kiss with ... No 4037

Article excerpt

Set by Joy Hosker

At its second fundraising dinner on 10 July, Labour was offering more lots, including a tennis match with Tony Blair and a chance to be a character in Alastair Campbell's new novel. We asked you for further (max: ten) money-raising suggestions Wow. Only one clear winner this week, who managed to make me chuckle with every one of his ten suggestions. A extraordinary feat, which means he also gets the Tesco vouchers for going beyond the call of duty. It's [pounds sterling]20 to Bond, O'Byrne and Greenwell, [pounds sterling]10 to G M Davis, and the rest get [pounds sterling]5 book to kens.

A Hazel Blears guest appearance in your panto (Snow White).

A photo op presenting Gordon Brown with an ice cream.

A chance to escort Jacqui Smith on a walkabout in her constituency.

A makeover with Alistair Darling's hairdresser and eyebrow manager.

A pair of Jack Straw's old specs.

The chair from which

Harriet Harman has guided the Labour Party.

An interval visit to Andy Burnham's box at the opera.

A whip signed by Geoff Hoon.

A ride in an open-top bus with Ruth Kelly.

The original of a limited edition of Happy Family cards featuring Dad Des, an army recruiting sergeant; Mum Hazel, a stressed bureaucrat; Grandfather James, a pensioner; and Ed, a naughty schoolboy. Paul Bond

Your obituary written by Andrew Roth, with a note by Tam Dalyell. A luxury tea towel with most of Magna Carta reproduced on it.

A mock-up of Tribune with your name on the front page. …

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