Magazine article New Statesman (1996)

A Good Impression

Magazine article New Statesman (1996)

A Good Impression

Article excerpt

(for Murray Hunter)

I'm standing in the busy bus station where we'd to meet so's my brother could introduce me to the top man, only my best gear on to make a good impression and this dirty looking fucking wee smelly Oaktown cunt with snotters hinging is staring at me holding the crappiest little old Kodak you've ever seen so I growls, Hey cunt, are you seeing enough or what?

Can I take a photie o your trainers? he says.


Can I take a photie of your trainers man, please?

A photie - what the fuck for?

Oh please mister, please, I like to draw them.

What, trainers?

Oh aye, please man - never see a pair o trainers like that up our way y'know, I gottie come down the west end to see those - please!

So here I am No I hard man supposed starting to go beetroot and a few cunts waiting on buses are smiling at me and my neck is doing overtime scoping that my brother and the top man are fuck all anywhere to be seen so I hiss, Well fucking get on with it. …

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