Magazine article New Statesman (1996)

Bonus Backlash No 4066

Magazine article New Statesman (1996)

Bonus Backlash No 4066

Article excerpt

A bonus, according to one dictionary, is defined as "an amount of money added to a person's wages specially as a reward for good performance". We asked you for updated banking terms for a dictionary published in 2009

Magnificent! You all entered into the spirit of the thing with gusto. And we had quite a few newbies entering into the bargain, even though none won this week. Bettei luck next time! The singletons get a [pounds sterling]5 book token each, the doubleton (Alanna Blake) a tenner. The rest can have [pounds sterling]15, except for Josh Ekroy who gets [pounds sterling]20 and the Tesco vouchers.

Fiscal stimulus: Oh yes, do it again Alistair! Again Darling! More, yes! More!

Quantitative easing: The art of printing bank notes to be used as toilet paper.

Savers: Certifiable idiots.

Untenable position: Firmly held position.

The biggest loss in corporate history: The latest loss.

Nationalisation: Absolutely not, no, no, probably not, no we don't uh, no not really, not today anyway. Mark my words.

Light touch: No touch.

Josh Ekroy

Bonus: A windfall from heaven ... or from Alistair Darling.

Taxpayer-financed bank: One where the taxpayer has absolutely no say in its running.

Regulator: No definition-he is sound asleep.

Savings: Whatever is left in the cardboard box under the bed. Godfrey Holmes

Good money: Money

Assets: Irrecoverable debts.

Bretton Woods System: Before the Fall.

Credit-worthiness: Whatever . …

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