Magazine article New Statesman (1996)

Close Encounter at the Gay Hussar

Magazine article New Statesman (1996)

Close Encounter at the Gay Hussar

Article excerpt

* On to Phil and Fearn's This Morning sofa on ITV1 to discuss smears alongside Neil and Christine Hamilton. The Hamiltons were invited as former victims, after a bizarre, false rape allegation in 2001, but Mohamed Al Fayed and the cash-for-questions scandal continues to dog the couple. Christine Hamilton, the self-styled Mrs British Battleaxe, was sipping a cup of char before the show when she noticed a Harrods label dangling on her teabag string. The speed with which Mrs Battleaxe snipped it off with her fingernails suggests the police wouldn't need to look far, should Mr Fayed ever be found minus his gonads.

* That celebrated haunt of left-wingers who prefer to plot on a full stomach, the Gay Hussar eatery in Soho, central London, has an unusually large number of diners loitering on the stairs to the lavatories. A photograph of Gordon Brown with Damian McBride is detaining guests.

The manager, John Wrobel, has rejected bids for the snap and is considering screwing it to the wall for safekeeping. He has agreed, however, to give a print to a BBC regular who suffered McNasty's hairdryer treatment and would like a copy to smile at every night before he goes to bed.

* To Maggie's End at the Shaw Theatre in London, where a loud cry of "Nut him!" from the audience enlivened an onstage confrontation between the play's Thatcher-hating hero and a Rusty Lady-worshipping New Labour home secretary. The voice sounded like a west London man in his late fifties. Coincidentally, I later saw in the bar the GMB general secretary, Paul Kenny, born in Hammersmith in October 1949.

* Further to my snippet about Barack Obama accidentally wandering into the No 10 political office on his way to the toilet, I now hear that his trip wasn't entirely by accident. …

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