Magazine article New Statesman (1996)

Toon Army Goes Belly Up: Newcastle Fans End the Season with Three Awards, Thanks to Hunter Davies

Magazine article New Statesman (1996)

Toon Army Goes Belly Up: Newcastle Fans End the Season with Three Awards, Thanks to Hunter Davies

Article excerpt

Haircut of the Year At last, after three years in which this award has not been given, gathering dust in a corner ever since Becks decided to go legit, and I mean that very sincerely, we have two excellent contenders. Marouane Fellaini of Everton, with his big hair, has done wonders for the Goodison wig industry. Special mention, in the beard subsection, must be made of Jonathan Greening of West Brom. Oh, if only he would go the whole hog and have the full beard ... but perhaps he'll have more time in the Championship to concentrate on it. But the winner is Florent Malouda of Chelsea. What imagination, what craft, what the hell is it--an Ena Sharpies hairnet, a tea cosy, a topknot, or what? Definitely best in show.

[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]

Best Fans Newcastle United's, stripping off in all weathers, showing us their manly bellies, singing their little hearts out--when their team all season has been total shite.

Worst Fans Newcastle United's. Why didn't they keep their big bellies quiet? They are to blame, oh yes, for getting rid of Big Sam, who might well have saved them, then later they got their way when the latest messiah was signed, Le Shearer.

Surprise Millwall Fan of the Season In the crowd during the final play-off at Wembley, cheering on Millwall, who but Daniel Day-Lewis, sporting a pork-pie hat, showing he is a real geezer. Goodness, never knew he liked football, far less Millwall. Then I remembered that many years ago I went to interview his dad, Cecil Day-Lewis, the Poet Laureate, then living with his family in Crooms Hill, Greenwich. Very posh, but closet Millwall territory for sensitive lads wanting street cred.

Best Quote "The manager needs someone of that elk. …

Search by... Author
Show... All Results Primary Sources Peer-reviewed

Oops!

An unknown error has occurred. Please click the button below to reload the page. If the problem persists, please try again in a little while.