Magazine article The Advocate (The national gay & lesbian newsmagazine)

Mommy's Busy

Magazine article The Advocate (The national gay & lesbian newsmagazine)

Mommy's Busy

Article excerpt

Normally I Don't Like To Share My Past New Year's Resolutions because it's bad form and it jinxes my good intentions. I shared my 1996 resolution involving Queen Latifah, and I think we all know how that ended. In January 1997 one of my resolutions, largely adhered to, made my life smoother than a full-body wax. In a blast of bonhomie, I share it with you.

In 1997 I resolved and have resolved again in 1998 not to go to any so-called blockbuster movies and not to attend any movies unless they have British accents and/or subtitles. This year I added a third proviso: I would rather blow Kenneth Starr than go to another movie that uses that damned blue wall to create special effects. Therefore, I have not seen the new 007 opus or Titanic (I know how it ends) or Amistad (my friend Pauline spent the whole movie trying to identify Matthew McConaughey's accent). The one exception to my resolution was In & Out, the gay blockbuster. Loved Out; hated In.

Between blockbuster and independent is the DMZ of commercial movies. I was hideously uncomfortable in As Good As It Gets during the establishment of Jack Nicholson's character, Melvin, who spews well-crafted homophobic, racist, sexist vitriol to justify the marvel of his later transformation into human being. It was not the good-hearted gay man or the tough-love waitress who began the change in him. It was Prozac and the dog.

Kolya, The Wings of the Dove, and, most recently, Ma Vie en Rose have enriched my life far more. I won't ruin it for you, but at the end of Ma Vie en Rose, the young dykus ex machina swaps her tiara and organza party dress for the outfit of her halfhearted swishbuckling friend, Ludo, and, more important, stands up for him when he gets in trouble for indulging his old cross-dressing ways.

She in all her ambiguity is a signal to Ludo that his transgressive, transdressive impulse is not criminal, anti-family, or evil. She is a fellow gender bender, and she will stand by him in his her-ness. It is a moment of extraordinary courage and kindness and one of the only times in the film I loosened my knuckle-melding grip on my girlfriend. Ma Vie en Rose is a poignant, excruciating in-breath that Waiting to Exhale only aspired to. …

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